The Prophet's Treatment of his Wives Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) dealt justly with his wives, loved them,
fondled them, and was patient and loyal with them. His actions sprang
from a feeling of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty has
created him righteous and equitable by nature. Lady A'isha said
that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) never preferred one wife
more than the others and used to see them all in their homes everyday
although he used to spend the night with one only. Treating his
wives with equity never changed according to the change in his
conditions. Whether he was traveling or present he was equitable. When
he wanted to travel he used to pick without personal preference
(through some way like drawing straws) which wife to accompany him. He
used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady
Sauda Bint Zam'a reached old age and no longer had sexual desires she
dedicated her day and night to Lady A'isha may Allah be pleased with
them. By doing so, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet
(peace be upon him). Another form of dealing justly was when the
Prophet married a virgin he would stay with her for three nights not to
let her feel lonely and then he would spend with her the same as his
other wives. When he (peace be upon him) married Umm Salama he said to
her: "There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your
husband. So if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like
I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn." She
said: "Spend three (nights)." Narrated by Muslim. Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) treated his wife equally even in his last days when
he was very sick. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady
A'isha said that when the Prophet became too sick he asked her wives
for permission to be nursed at Aisha's. They agreed of course. In
another narration, Lady A'isha said that Prophet Muhammad asked in his
last days: "Where should I be tomorrow?" hoping it to be the turn of
A'isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed
with Lady A'isha until he died. He died in Aisha’s arms. Although
that the Prophet (peace be upon him) treated his wives with perfect
equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty
that he could not be equitable in what he could not control. Lady
A'isha may Allah be pleased with her reported that the Prophet of Allah
(peace be upon him) used to treat his wives equally and say: "O Allah,
this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah do not blame me for
what You control and I can not control." Abu Dawoud said: "Prophet
Muhammad meant what is in his heart." Allah controls our feelings and
hearts and made the love of Lady A'isha greater in the heart of the
Prophet than the love of any other woman. That he could not control
indeed. Because feelings are out of our hands and in the hands of
Allah; men married to more than one wife are not obliged to equally
love each wife but to be equal in spending time with them and expenses.
However, the Prophet implores Allah to forgive him for loving Lady
A'isha more. Allah says: "And the ones who bring whatever they bring
with hearts tremulous that they are returning to their Lord"
(Al-Mu'menun:60). Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stressed on
the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the
Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished. Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the faithful believers' example. Allah
says: "Indeed you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of
Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah
much." (Al-Ahzab: 21) The sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) are legislations guiding his 'Umma' nation to the
righteous path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet except
for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for the Prophet
alone.
